Just opened up my Macbook
Tons of bullshit windows open
Photobooth overloaded with snapshots
My iTunes Library some how became 'disorganized'
WTF Grandma
Get the fuck off my Macbook
I know you indirectly purchased it for me
because you are old and don't know how to spend your money in the modern world
so u just spend it on your spoiled grand kids
but for god's fucking sake
Can u please get your own goddamn macbook
Watching a video of you and your 'bff' (that means best friends forever)
dancing to the Black Eyed Peas
Messing around with visual effects
I know you think this is cool and exciting
but that shit is lame
and if u wanna do that, I'll drag ur ass down to the Apple Store
and let u deal with a 'fucking Genius'
But as for now
plz get the fuck off my goddamned macbook
I do a lot of important shit on my macbook, grandma
Look at facebook, update twitter
masturbate to internet porn
login to my online community college course
Cyberbully tons of tweens
Get tons of sweet deals on groupon
Google tons of 'dark shit'
U have no business going on my Macbook
I don't know who you think u r
or what sort of 'sense of entitlement' u have
to think u can just invade my shit
You need to learn some effing respect
and get the fuck off my goddamned Macbook
You are a selfish, stupid, dumb woman
And if you don't listen to me, I am going to STRONGLY RECOMMEND to mom and dad
that it is time 2 lock u away in a home
(There would be free Macbooks + iPods there, though, so maybe u would want to go).
Besides, u already took plenty of authentic retro vintage pix of urself
when u were a 20something
Stop stealing my technology
Bc ur really selfish and I am ashamed of u.
This isn't a toy
This isn't an anti-Alzheimer's brain stimulation device
This isn't a game
This isn't a pocket mirror
This isn't a fun house mirror
This isn't just any other contraption
It's a Macbook
It's powerful
It can do a lot of shit
(Shit that you can't handle)
You make me so fucking angry, grandma
Now I understand how you raised my dad
Learn some effing respect
And get the fuck off my goddamned Macbook
You are a witch
You are a whore
You are a filthy, disgusting, selfish, tween-ass human being
You are so vain
Get the fuck ovr urself
Ur 'identity'
How 'beautiful' u r
how many friends u have on facebook
How many tagged photos ur in
...I used to be like u...
But then I grew the fuck up...
Goddamn you, grandma
One day I'll be at your funeral
and by then I'll have a new Macbook Air
And I'll throw my old Macbook in the grave with u
and I'll say
"Thanks a whole fucking lot...
Have fun on Photobooth
Making vlogs
...in hell."
Has ur unchill grandma ever used ur Macbook?
Do u feel ashamed of old ppl when they think technology is 'cool'?
Should old ppl not be allowed to play with Macbooks/iPhones/technology?
Do u have more respect for old ppl who don't try 2 catch up with 'modern times'?
Do u get pissed off when an old lady in front of u at the grocery store uses a checkbook 2 pay for her shit and takes 'effing forever' and ur like 'get a g-d debit card', or are u like 'awww. s0 retr0 vintage' ?
Do u respect ur elders or do u know u r better than them?
Does Granny Need 2 Learn Some Goddamned Respect?